This is a song from Joe Jackson's album Look Sharp:
The lyrics are:
I've just been to see my best friend/ He's found another girl
Says she's just about the best thing/ In the whole damn world
And he says, "Can't you see/ what the little lady's done for me"/ Says it like he thinks I'm blind
But the things that you see/ Ain't necessarily the things you can find
Happy loving couples make it look so easy/ Happy loving couples always talk so kind
Till the time that I can do my dancing with a partner/ Those happy couples ain't no friends of mine
People say I'm too damn fussy/ When it comes to girls
Happy couples say/ I must live in a lonely world
Wanna be, wanna really be/ What my friends pretend to be/ Be it in my own good time
Being kind to myself/ Till I become one of two of a kind
But those happy loving couples make it look so easy/ Happy loving couples always talk so kind
Till the time that I can do my dancing with a partner/ Those happy couples ain't no friends of mine
You ain't no friends of mine/ You ain't no friends of mine
You know what I mean/ happy loving couples/ In matching lamb polo-neck sweaters
Reading 'Ideal Homes' magazine, yeah
Wanna be, wanna really be/ What my friends pretend to be/ Be it in my own good time
Being kind to myself/ Till I become one of two of a kind
But those happy loving couples make it look so easy/ Happy loving couples always talk so kind
Until the time that I can do my dancing with a partner/ Those happy couples ain't no friends of mine
You ain't no friends of mine/ You ain't no friends of mine/ You ain't no friends of mine
You ain't no friends of mine/ You ain't no friends of mine/ You ain't no friends of mine
Right, that's enough
I have been single for quite some time now, but that didn't mean I didn't have a partner or a lover if I wanted one. Over the past year I've become increasingly dissatisfied with sex without relationship; I'm more interested in love and partnership than in "just sex." So what was not an issue has become an emptiness.
Then I run into someone I used to be in love with, deeply and achingly. The tough thing is, I'd thought that after so many years those feelings would have subsided. They had--until we reconnected a couple of years ago. At first I didn't feel anything out of the ordinary, and I didn't even remember how much I'd cared for him, but just in the past month or so all those memories have come flooding back, and I'm aching with loneliness and misery. And the stupid thing is, we were never anything but friends, we never will be anything but friends, and my rational mind understands that completely. The part of me that uselessly, ridiculously fell in love never got the message. It's so unnecessarily stressful. I'm miserable whenever I'm around him, which is often lately.
I've also reconnected with some online gaming buddies from back in the day. These are people who were so introverted they made me look like a social expert. I just got an email telling me that my two best friends, my favorite shipmates, both have significant others now. All of a sudden everyone and their cousin Arthur is telling me all about their love lives. I'm sick of it. And it's not because I resent the happiness that my friends and acquaintances have--far from it, I'm thrilled that they have people who they care for and who care for them--but because every time I hear about "my girlfriend" or "my boyfriend" I'm reminded of the empty space that isn't being occupied by a significant other of my own.
The latest thing is being teased by some of my friends. One of my friends has a set of car keys at my house, and I've been waiting for him to come and get it. We used to be lovers occasionally, but as his business has grown so does his travel itinerary, and I rarely see him anymore. When I do, it's usually just for five minutes. But he has made plans to come and pick up his keys and then cancelled several times. I'm feeling like the girl who waits by the phone for the boy who never calls. I don't even love him, but I feel rejected when he keeps cancelling on me. Then there's this teacher who goes on and on about what should he do if he's attracted to a student, and it's excruciating. He's got someone fabulous in his life, so why on earth is he even looking at another person? And why should he mention it to me, when he knows how I feel about infidelity (or maybe he doesn't; guess that will be my next blog subject)? I feel like he's showing off; not only does he have one partner, he's looking at another one, and here I am with none. I tell you, it makes me grouchy.
Till the time that I can do my dancing with a partner, those happy couples ain't no friends of mine.
You ain't no friends of mine/ You ain't no friends of mine/ You ain't no friends of mine
Right, that's enough
